Episode 48: The Two Hour Cocktail Party with Nick Gray
Ron opens the episode by asking guest Nick Gray to introduce himself.
- Nick goes through a bit of his history, talking about his previous company that he sold a few years ago.
- He then mentions his new book that is largely the topic of conversation for this week’s episode.
Deb mentions the “loneliness epidemic” that Nick mentions in his book, and asks him to go into more detail about that.
- He discusses his understanding of how people make less friends and lose friends as they grow older.
- His then talks about how his book The Two Hour Cocktail Party encourages people to host a gathering to make as many connections as possible.
Ron asks what are some of the biggest surprises that he has noticed from others that are using the techniques in his book.
- Nick says he has helped almost 100 people hosts party, and then mentions some of the biggest surprises that have come out of those parties.
- He adds that others are surprised at how quickly you can get to 15-20 people, which he says is the appropriate size for a these types of parties.
- After some prompting from Ron, Nick discusses why this is just the right amount of people, as less is more work for the host to keep conversation going, and more might be overwhelming for most people.
Deb asks how to convince introverts to attend the parties?
- Nick discusses why his parties are perfect for introverts, such as sending out little guest bios before the party.
- He adds that the parties also include name tags, icebreakers, a start time, and even more importantly an end time, which gives them a much better sense of control.
- He then explains why listing an end time is vital to hosting a good party, for both you and the guests.
- Nick adds some details around why the icebreakers are a key part of the party as well.
Deb asks about the community after the party, and how those who attended can stay in touch.
- He says that it’s important to include those contact details in the guest list that goes out before the party.
- He notes that no matter how great the party is, he encourages people NOT to create a group chat because it helps keep the party as a special event.
Ron discusses how the story in your head around inviting people to a party also plays a role in who is willing to host a party.
- Mike jumps in and says that a party is a gift that you give someone, and gives some personal stories that dives into this further.
- He adds that there is a caveat to this though - noting that for your first party, ensure it is a low stakes environment to keep the pressure off and help you learn how to host this type of event.
- After prompting from Ron, Nick discusses how to keep people from thinking this is going to be a “sales party” where they are just trying to sell something to you.
Deb asks what to do if your spouse isn’t as excited about hosting a party.
- Nick gives a few pieces of advice for ways to either get your spouse involved, or even the guests who always arrive early.
- This makes Deb recall a piece of the Macklin Method where you need to give others a way to help or contribute to you and the things you’re doing.
Nick asks Ron and Deb if they have any suggestions or modifications about ways to improve running the party.
- Ron talks about a common story in your head is that you are afraid, but after talking about how everyone is afraid, Nick agrees.
- Nick talks about how after the icebreakers during a party, there is a moment of shared collective fear, which is then followed by a rush of energy into the party.
- Nick asks Ron and Deb how they would help someone that might be afraid to host their first party.
- Deb talks about how to get over the first seven seconds of fear when inviting someone or start talking to someone new at the party.
- Ron discusses to have people craft the story of what it is going to look like a few weeks and months after, and focus on all of the successes, which helps rewrite the stories in your head.
- Nick raves about what a great idea that is, and how getting people to regularly host parties as a part of who they are is another goal.
LINKS FOR NICK GRAY:
Nick Gray's personal website
Nick Gray's blog
How to Host a Party Website
The 2-Hour Cocktail Party: Book info
The 2-Hour Cocktail Party: Amazon
How to Host a Clothing Swap
How to Plan a Networking Event
How to Host a Happy Hour
My Parents Hosted a Party: Here's What They Learned
Mocktail Party: How to Host When You Don't Drink Alcohol
How to visit a museum
Join us to hear how understanding the idea of “self-talk” — and what you can do about it — could change your relationships and life for the better.