Episode 40: Releasing Things That Don’t Belong with Shana Francesca
Michelle begins by welcoming Shana to the show, and asking her how she came up with her company name: Concinnate.
- Shana reads the definition of concinnate, and describes the story of how she found that name for her company, and why it is so fitting.
- She adds how it relates to the story of our life, and going through the process also helps clarify what needs to be removed and no longer belongs there.
Ron asks why Shana chose interior design and where her passion comes from.
- She describes her childhood and the power her physical environment had, using her room as a vision board.
- After going to school for interior design, she had clients ask for her to design their homes because her style was divergent thanks to how she listened to those clients.
- Shana describes how those changes greatly affect the lives of those she has been able to help.
Michelle reflecting on Shana’s statement of finding what doesn’t belong and moving those items out of your life, asks her to speak more on that point.
- Shana describes her mindset behind being able to release the stories that no longer belong to us, which helps us live more authentic lives.
- She continues by noting how going through this process allows us to become freer and lighter, making it easier to create your own story and live more authentically.
Ron says this is relevant to what they work on everyday which is getting rid of stories in his own head that he no longer wants there. He asks how Shana deals with wanting an item or the story associated with it back after having gotten rid of it.
- Shana starts by saying not to get rid of something until you are absolutely certain you should – noting that “should” is a curse word.
- She continues by saying when we get clear on the story we want our lives to tell, we focus on that, and choosing that, releasing the stories where meaning doesn’t actually exist.
- Shana notes that we are the ones that assign meaning to things or stories, and how they are the lenses through which we see the world.
Michelle asks Shana to go further into the word “should” by describing why she thinks it is unproductive.
- Shana describes where all of her “shoulds” came from, and what started happening when she started releasing those from her own story.
- She notes that all of these things we “should” do are all man-made constructs, and you get to choose which ones apply to you.
- Ron asks Shana to give an example of some “should” stories she has worked through in her life.
- Shana goes into multiple stories that she “should” believe or follow, but has released through crafting her own story.
Ron asks Shana what ‘authenticity’ or ‘being authentic’ means to her.
- Shana says that she is still finding what that means and that it is ever-evolving.
- She notes that it is a conversation with herself and what is aligned with the life she wants to live.
- She continues by adding that it is recognizing what actually walks in the room when you do versus what you want to enter the room.
- Michelle follows this chain of thought by asking how she resolves the discrepancy between those two.
- Shana says that maybe there is no resolving this, but leaning into what actually enters the room when you do, and letting that be enough.
Ron asks Shana for more clarity on what she means when she’s talking about “what enters the room.”
- She describes what she means by this saying, and how this relates (or doesn’t) to who you are as a person.
- Ron asks how she handles when someone then walks into her room with all of her ‘stuff’.
- Shana says that she doesn’t fully knows what it means to shed all the ‘stuff’ and be defined by nothing.
- She notes that all the ‘stuff’ clouds the view of who we actually are, and defines a couple of those things that define us, regardless of whether the interaction is in person or online.
In Shana’s answer, Michelle found that she said you have to learn to be okay with being enough, and asks her how to get there.
- Shana says that she doesn’t know but she’ll let her know when she gets there.
- She continues by describing her thought process on how to get to that state of being.
- Adding in a few examples on what’s stopping us from being there, Shana describes how each of those affect our heads and the stories we are always being told.
- Ron asks if someone wants to start working their way towards ‘being enough’ what are some easy steps to get started.
- Shana responds by starting with meditation, and diving deep into the stories that emerge by doing this.
- Michelle says that she started meditating 20 years ago, and the effects that it has had on her.
- Shana adds in how meditation can look different from person to person.
Shana asks Ron and Michelle how their work around “being enough” has shown up in their lives.
- Michelle responds first saying that it has been her lifelong “should” to recognize what is “enough.”
- Ron describes his experience in working to notice this story and how to shift that story when he is telling himself that he is not enough.
Ron asks where listeners can go to find out more about Shana and her offerings to the world.
Join us to hear how understanding the idea of “self-talk” — and what you can do about it — could change your relationships and life for the better.