Ep. 60: How to Become Resilient with Gemma Bailey
Ron begins by asking guest Gemma Bailey to introduce herself.
- Gemma begins by introducing herself as a trainer and therapist.
- She is also the owner of a few companies and non-profits that are all centered around mental health and wellbeing.
- She notes that she focuses largely on neuro-linguistic programing (NLP).
Deb asks Gemma what resilience means to her.
- Gemma describes what the word resilience means to her, and her mindset of how she came to that personal definition of the word.
- After Ron asks, she then discusses how dealing with resilience comes into play in her workplaces.
- She gives examples of how different generations come to be resilient, and the how resiliency looks different between younger versus older generations.
- She then explains many of her own personal experiences with her family and how those experiences have made her more resilient.
- Gemma correlates her need for praise and recognition in the school setting led her to getting a degree in therapy.
Deb continues the same line of thinking, noting that she has helped others develop resilience, and asks how Gemma worked through all of those struggles.
- She says that it was a matter of taking one day at a time.
- Gemma noticed about herself the anxiety she felt every morning upon waking, and realized that dealing with it is a totally different beast than helping others deal with it.
- She describes how much of her time was going towards taking care of her mom, and recognized how she could only look so far into the future.
- Over this time, Gemma says she realized the importance of developing some type of routine to keep her from large amounts of anxiety, and on the path of resiliency.
Ron asks what are some of the stories we might be telling ourselves that are a sign of not being resilient, or not building resiliency in our lives.
- Gemma says the way to recognize it is by holding yourself back ‘just in case,’ and gives examples of what that looks like in different people.
- She notes that a way to somewhat measure how resilient you are is to ask yourself how comfortable would feel if those difficult things came your way.
- She then gives examples of why this isn’t a perfect measure, because it is different when you are actually going through those hard times, but it can still be a good indication.
Deb asks how one might go about changing the story that exists in their head about their resiliency level.
- Gemma says it largely about how we talk to ourselves in our own head, and describes what some of these conversations might look like.
- She adds the importance of how the type of questions you ask yourself can change your mindset and ability to overcome that challenge.
- She continues by saying not only the question, but the tone of voices in which we ask those questions, play a pivotal role in changing the story in our head.
- Gemma gives examples of ways to work through the stories in a way that changes the outcome and how you think about those stories.
Ron asks how we can help others craft a story about resiliency without beating others over the head with it.
- Gemma describes her conversations with educators in schools to help students become more confident and resilient.
- She says to get others to craft that story is by empowering people to overcome their own life challenges, whatever those challenges look like.
- Deb explains the power of how important it is to tell people that you believe in them, which Gemma then corroborates.
- Gemma adds that it is often more difficult for us to acknowledge those we are closest to, whether it is family or coworkers, and thank show them the thanks they deserve.
To find out more about Gemma and her training/coaching/etc. for grown-ups visit peoplebuilding.co.uk or if you’re interested in children or young people visit nlp4kids.org
Join us to hear how understanding the idea of “self-talk” — and what you can do about it — could change your relationships and life for the better.
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