Episode 47: Dropping Your Shield
Deb opens by asking Ron to explain the concept of dropping one’s shield.
- Ron describes how shields can be used for both defense and offensive purposes.
- He then notes that the shields he’s talking about are the stories in our own heads, and describes where those stories come from.
- Ron shares anecdotes about his past and current self about what this looks like in his everyday life, and questions who decided carrying these shields was a good idea.
- Melissa jumps in and describes her shields that have formed over her life from times when she was hurt, and built that shield up to prevent from being hurt again.
- Ron agrees and describes how when others go through the Macklin Method programs, they learn to become vulnerable and often end up crying because they connected with some of the most important people in their lives.
Ron continues by noting in their programs, you’ll learn the process of Tossing Lines.
- He talks through a situation of what this might look like for someone, and what to do when you run into someone else’s shield.
- Ron continues by sharing what really happens to others when you share a vulnerable story with others.
- Deb thinks about how she would normally wait for someone else to lower their shield first, when in reality dropping your shield first means you have to trust yourself.
- Melissa then contemplates how being the one to drop your shield first can radically change your life as you are more free to be your true self.
- Ron shares a story of a documentary of soldiers during WWII that connected because they dropped their shields.
Melissa shares lessons learned from her time studying social psychology, and how when you become close with someone, there becomes a shared self.
- She discusses how by sharing vulnerabilities, that develops the overlap in personalities, which further lowers your shield, which can allow you to share more vulnerabilities.
- Ron says that by lowering your shield and sharing those vulnerabilities is how you create long-term lasting connections with others.
Deb asks Ron how one goes about changing their stories so that they can drop their shield and become vulnerable with others.
- Ron says that the first place to start is to recognize that everything you know is just a story in your head.
- The second part, he continues, is that being vulnerable is a story of courage, and to be courageous for 7 seconds.
- He notes that the first time you try to be vulnerable, you might not be at all, and that it can take a lot of practice to be open and vulnerable.
- Melissa discusses a way to practice being courageous, and Ron comments on other ways to practice it as well.
Ron asks Deb and Melissa what modern armor looks like for them.
- Deb discusses what armor looked like for her in her previously male-dominated career and workplace.
- Melissa agrees, and then adds how it’s important to know who you want to be in your head and work towards becoming that person.
- Ron then describes what modern armor looks like from his perspective, and how it changes through different generations.
- He also notes what happens when someone decides to not follow the norms of armor and goes after their authentic self.
Join us to hear how understanding the idea of “self-talk” — and what you can do about it — could change your relationships and life for the better.