Episode 56 Being Vulnerable as a Man with Dai Manuel
Ron opens by asking guest Dai Manuel to introduce himself.
- Dai touches on his background, saying that he is first and foremost a father and husband.
- He continues by saying that he enjoys helping others navigating change.
Deb notes that she watched Dai’s Ted Talk about vulnerability and men, and asks for Dai to share the story he has noticed about what it is like to be a man and also be vulnerable.
- Dai says that vulnerability isn’t something that comes naturally, as most people learn through modeling and mentorship, noting that he did not have great models or mentors.
- He discusses the role alcohol played in his life and his ability to be vulnerable with others.
- He then tells the story that caused him to change his entire life, which began with his wife asking him a question.
- Dai continues by saying how difficult it was, but that drove him to open up and be vulnerable with his wife, and begin therapy.
- Ron describes why they call those perspective shifting moments ‘imaginal moments,’ and describes how they ‘toss a line’ to others to get them to shift their perspective.
- He continues by noting how when you’re vulnerable, it opens the space for you to be more authentic and who you truly are.
Ron then asks Dai how he would describe ‘being vulnerable.’
- Dai connects Ron tossing lines back to his MEN-torship programs and how they ask “what is alive and real for you right now?” which helps them address what is heavy and weighing on them at that moment.
- He continues discussing about how he used to even pull back celebrating the good things, in addition to the normal fears about opening up and being authentic.
- He notes that the way to become closer with others is to open up and be vulnerable with them, which allows them to also be vulnerable back.
- Deb adds in stories about her family and their uneasiness showing emotion or being vulnerable.
Deb asks Dai how he creates the space for others to be vulnerable with him.
- Dai discusses his old habits of how he used to deal with anxiety and stress, and how that changed when he made the change.
- He says that if you don’t have someone to open up to about these things, you need to find a community where you feel like you belong that encourages that.
- Dai then regales his own experience joining a community and the impact it had on him and the trajectory of his life.
- Ron shares some of the lessons he has learned over years of being vulnerable with others.
Deb says that she keeps thinking about Dai’s daughters, and asks how his changes have impacted his family.
- Dai describes how everything changed, and how much more present he is with his family.
- He discusses his relationship with his father, and how he wanted to be different with his children.
Want to Learn more about Dai? Links below!
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