When Silence is Golden
'Tossing the quiet line,’ whether to myself or another, means I am intentionally silent. I can easily think of tossing a line as an action, meaning I must write or speak something. When I remember my intention for tossing a line is learning, I can maintain that speaking or writing nothing can also be an action to fulfill my intention.
Silence is an Action
Tossing the quiet line is one of the more effective lines I toss to myself and to others. I hold it can be the most challenging line to toss, even though tossing it can look to others as if it’s the most comfortable.
When someone has tossed me a line and I want to respond to explain how I have this all figured out – my scared self wants to look smart or not look stupid – I toss myself the quiet line. I repeat what they have said in my head and let it wash over me. I don’t say anything. Tossing myself the quiet line allows me to reflect on whether I can give up the all-figured-out thinking I made up previously and accept the new idea put forth by the line toss. Sometimes this takes a while. Neither reflecting on the new idea nor reflecting on my old belief changes it. It is my unwillingness to assess both equally because one was mine.
When I toss the quiet line to another, meaning I am not saying or writing anything, I am allowing the person to reflect on their situation and to assess which action they will take next. It gives them space to choose their own new direction with no interference or distraction from me. Many times, after I toss the quiet line and there is a time with silence, the person restarts the conversation with many questions. This is a sign they are open to help and are curious about how they can live a thriving life. By letting them choose, set direction and then produce their own thriving life, I create strong and lasting connections.
Enroll in an upcoming MacklinConnection Workshop to learn more about tossing lines and cultivating connections. Do you have a quiet line story? Share it with me: ron@macklinconnection.com.
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